Archive for August, 2010

There Is Only One Way Out


do not go to raven high

Wow, three months already? It seems I am writing in quarterly spans of time. Not exactly a good thing. And with it being so long since I last wrote, the words are strangely silent and elusive.

It’s time to get back to reading again.

But back to my point: this Friday, eight in the evening, begins the end of a journey that started back in October last year. Numerous evenings spent in the basement foodcourt of Cineleisure, as we came up with story idea after story idea. Samson? Period drama? Pillars? Cries of vengeance? Exotic, alluring women? And everything just funnelled into something terribly simple: a school. Gangs. Drugs. And of course, love. Love enough.

I started this with nothing. I kept telling myself, I’m a prose writer, durn it! Not a script writer. I just like watching movies. That doesn’t make me an authority of any degree possible on scriptwriting! And a MUSICAL, no less.

But God takes you, as I learnt today, out of your comfort zones, out of your carefully fabricated sense of safety, when He takes over. But he brings people to walk this journey with you; people He similarly raises up, with perfected strength in our weakness, fellow children of God, kings and queens all — and He shows us, beyond the shadow of doubt, why He is also the Creative God.

One night, during one of our prayer sessions, He said to me: Tell them that I am a God of Wonder.

Wonder. Amazement. Awe. Stealing gasps from gaping mouths. Sharp intakes of breath. Reeling minds. Scaling past our imaginations.

I believe, with all of my heart, I will see a God of Wonder this coming Friday and Saturday. And I know that the first and only words that will come out of my mouth, even if they only palely evoke the depth and richness of all that I feel when I experience the fierce gentleness of His presence, will be ‘Thank You’.

*
I never imagined myself to shoot film, or even photography, for that matter. All my life, I only ever wanted to write, a passion that has stuck by me ever since childhood.
A whole rush of emotions flooded in and through me as I watched the trailer play on screen, in that crimson-hued semi-darkness; what was it, I thought,  was it pride? Jitters, sadness, fear, relief? Joy?

Yosh said she noticed that I would always wonder what people thought when I created something, be it art, photography, film, writing; I don’t deny it. But I don’t think it’s a search for self-affirmation as if I’m collecting plaudits to put on my imaginary shelf of achievements and accomplishments. It’s a yearning to know what you, if you did, feel after reading, watching or looking at it. It’s because what you say matters to me. What you feel matters to me. And my heart, always, if it were possible, would be to always listen. Always.
So with this trailer comes a huge sense of relief, and inevitably the question, What’s next?